The Smells of Assia

We have been sharing our experiences with all of you through this blog, but I have come to realise that it just doesn't cut it. Google, who provide the blogspot service, have integrated many tools to enrich blogs including photos, video, sound and mobile connectivity, but none of these help, and nothing will until they allow the transmission of smells via the web (perhaps they could call it Poogle in Asia).

In light of this, and because I want you to get the most from our blog, I will try and give you some instructions so you can recreate the smells of Asia in the comfort of your own home or workplace.

Firstly, crap on your floor, as close to where you are currently sitting as you can (in your chair is also fine). If you can, get your family members or work colleagues to crap in your vicinity too.

Secondly, go outside and find a bin. The best kind of bins, which will provide you with that authentic Asian flavour, will be full of organic material (preferably fruit) and will have been sitting in the searing heat of the summer sun for about 3 weeks. Bring the bin back to where you are sitting and empty it around the place (making sure to get some between your toes). Now your almost there.

Lastly, and this one may be hard to pull off, you need a halitosis sufferer. It's unlikely that you will be able to find a sufferer who has put as much effort into their condition as the examples readily found in Asia, but even a halitosis beginner will give you the idea.
My suggestions are to find a bum, tramp or derro (depending on your locality) and lure him to your place with the promise of food or alcohol. You could also try old peoples homes, or taxi ranks (funny that they are called ranks really, as that is often what they are).
Once you have your bum, persuade him to bring his face as close to yours as you can stand and say "Hey Mister, Tuk Tuk? Moto? Hey, Hey...... Mister".
For the true Asian experience, he must never stop saying this for more than about 5 seconds.

Enjoy.